People are often under the impression that we are a referral service. Due to the complexities of family situations, we offer more than a name of a care manager. No matter where you live, we provide you an hour of our professional consultation by phone or in our offices in Bethesda, Md. -- learning of your concerns about your relative, ironing out sibling conflicts, and planning the entry of the local care manager. 

This preliminary groundwork helps us select the most suitable care manager for your relative and sets the stage for a smooth transition to occur. 

2. Is care management covered by any kind of insurance?

Long term care insurance may cover a portion of care management services. Otherwise, it is private pay. Typically private care managers charge hourly professional fees. A monthly bill might be $300 on up depending upon the amount of service. Medicare will partially cover psychotherapy services rendered, not care management services. 

3. I'm a private care manager. How do I join your network?

You must have a Masters degree in social work, two years of clinical practice under supervision, and be licensed by your state. We require specialized geriatric experience, knowledge of geriatric resources in your area and ability to make home visits. A phone or in person interview is required. Write to request an application and further details about our requirements for membership. 

4. Who are your care managers? Are they a franchise of yours, or employees of Aging Network Services? 

Neither. Our over 250 care managers across the country are screened members of Aging Network Services. Members have their own part or full time private care management practice. They are on call to receive referrals from Aging Network Services of Bethesda, Maryland. 

5. My mother lives in the Washington, D.C. area and is getting more forgetful. Will you work with her or does Aging Network Services just administer your long distance network?

Yes, we provide care management, counseling, and consultation services to the middle and older generation living in the Washington metro area. Our staff of social workers make home visits, arrange home care, help with transitions, escort to doctor appointments while keeping you fully informed. 

6. The following question appeared May 27, 1998 in the Journal newspaper where Co-Founders Barbara Kane and Grace Lebow ran a monthly Question & Answer column.

Dear Barbara and Grace,
My 90 year old mother agreed to look at a retirement home with me. She lives in New England and does not want to face another winter shoveling out her car. She has a lot of osteoporosis and broke her shoulder last year. I selected the top of the line retirement home here in Maryland to show her and set up lunch for us there along with a tour. Mom was pleasant and cheerful --told a lot of endearing stories to the salesperson. Lunch was elegant with a waiter serving us in a beautiful dining room. Many of the residents were at tables nearby, chatting among themselves. The atmosphere was altogether charming. I thought my mother was ready to move in. The next day my mother called to say, "that place was very nice but it was filled with old people and I'm not ready to move into a place like that." My mother has always been quite sensible and has never tried to look or act younger. What do you think this bewildering reaction is about? Is this normal or is my mother losing her marbles? 
Wendy from Bethesda

Dear Wendy,
Yes, your mother’s reaction is normal and this is a common reaction. Many people do not see themselves as old. In psychological jargon your mother is using a coping mechanism called “denial” to ward off facing her advancing years and the painful feelings associated with it. If your mother feels younger than her years in her own mind's eye, then it might shake up her denial system to be faced with a roomful of all other elders. Usually, it takes going back to the retirement home a few times. Perhaps you can ask the staff to arrange to have a resident show your mother around. In that way she can start to focus on the people living there, not just observing them from afar. In some facilities, you can live there for 2 weeks or 1 month as a trial. This is often a good idea. 

A little about the Big D. - Denial is not uncommon, nor dangerous in and of itself. In fact, sometimes it is healthy and protective. Rather than being shocked, it can provide a period of time to adjust to new and emotionally painful information. However if denial interferes with one’s safety or well being it can be a serious problem. An example is an 85 year old husband with a bad back who continues to lift his invalid wife from the wheelchair into bed. Or a 90 year old who needs to use a cane for balance but refuses because she doesn't like to think she has a balance problem. 

Back to your mother’s situation, Wendy- Your mothers’ denying that she too is old like the community of people she visited is understandable once you recognize her needs. Her attitude may shift as she gets to know some of the residents and sensitizes herself to this new and big change in her life. Sometimes that takes going back to face another New England winter. Meanwhile she needs your support and patience.

7. Where can I buy your book? 

At your favorite book store or online at Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.com.